If you don’t already know, Jorge Hank Rhon, a rich and shady businessman who owns white tigers mostly because they make him look tough, served as Tijuana’s mayor until February when he stepped down in order to run for governor of the state of Baja California. I haven’t been paying much attention to the race to fill Hank’s spot, but, as of today, I know who I’m voting for.
Fernando del Monte, Televisa’s leading news anchor, has thrown his hat into the ring. If ever there were a job that prepared you to be the mayor of one of the most dangerous cities on earth, a news anchor is it. I mean, you have to do all that talking and reading and smiling and, jeeze, you’ve got to master all those complicated tosses (A ‘toss,’ by the way, is television-news lingo for saying, “and now we go to John Smith live at the zoo where he’s got panda guru Sally Jones ready to talk about panda humping”). And when you toss to an anchor on location and they’re not there, OH MY GOODNESS…the stress is not unlike having you and your entire extended family threatened by narcos who kill people and stuff their dead bodies in barrels for fun. Believe me, I know. I used to work on the front lines of television news at San Diego’s local NBC affiliate. So take my words seriously when I say television anchors, most of ’em anyway, are as sharp as a donkey’s hoof. They are prime candidates for political seats.
Fernando is more than ready to step in. I just hope his hair doesn’t get tassled while he’s out there dodging bullets.